Putting in work.

For those without a vast lexicon of gang related slang at their disposal putting in work means engaging in gang related activity. It’s a phrase I love and use often because well, no I’m not a gangster but I identify.

Anyway.

After having my moment of stupid shame bullshit spiral, I did as I said yesterday and got to work. I finished two stories and submitted one, put the other away. I also resubmitted another story that has been rejected a lot.

Last night I went home and I put in work. I was so tired I was going cross-eyed but I did it. Sometimes I have to take that approach. I have to master myself and do some gangster shit.

I submitted to a magazine last night and I was nervous. A lot of authors I really -really- like have been published there and I had that moment of oh shit who the fuck am I to be offering my bullshit along with their awesome shit. I did it anyway.

I have to work. I realized in the past couple of years that if I let myself not work because I’m afraid or too shy or just embarrassed, this writing thing will not turn out well.

Now the next thing I want to do this year perhaps is to settle down and put together the chapbook I’ve had in my backbrain for a while. I have a structure in mind that suits my way of writing and the things I like to write about. I might save up some money and seriously shop it around. This is well it’s stultifying to me. I can’t really picture some of the indie presses I love taking it and saying fuck yes we want to publish this.

Then again the essay I wrote about crack (it will be published this month) was another one that I thought, well nobody is going to want to read this non academic shit. The editors gave me some of the best praise I’ve ever gotten from people I didn’t know personally. So I need to shut the fuck up.

Now a good friend (and one of my literary heroines/woman I have a massive ladycrush on) Sarah has self published her Rehab Diaries. It’s donation based and I’m halfway through and it’s really good. Please help support her in staying in the good place she’s in. Get it here and spread the link around.

Sarah is one of the authors who even before we ever spoke to each other helped me realize that I don’t have to have a fancy voice.

That’s all for now. For all three of you who read this. God Speed.

 

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