I got a really positive rejection on Saturday for a tiny piece of non fiction.
It is incredibly ego boosting to hear the words “strong voice” from editors as in more than one. As of this month I’ve heard that lately about both my fiction and my non fiction and it feels pretty damn good.
This is another sign to trust my gut and that I don’t have to try so hard to be pretty.
However looking at a few things I think that my subject matter is going to be more of a challenge. The things I like to write about are very frequently things that make people uncomfortable. Race, class, sex work, periods, pussy, sex, blablabla.
I don’t write about those things in a nice way often. My characters are often weird people you probably don’t want to know. I think sometimes my ideas of edgy and the ideas of X zine are so divergent I’m shooting myself in the foot.
Or I’m just that hormonal and suffering authorial butthurt because apparently I can’t get published at the moment.
Honestly it’s both.
I think I’m going to allow myself to wallow in my own self pity for the week because I’m having an awful period. My uterus is declaring war in the most bombastic way. I will probably use that bloody energy to write another period essay. I’ll try not to say pussy too much. Unlike the essay I wrote on Friday where I cut out me saying pussy about seven times.
I just read this on HTMLGIANT and this bit sums up how I hope to feel about my writing career when I’m old and decrepit and fulfilling my role as the crazyass old lady at the end of the street who wears ballgowns and combat boots, and who’s wig is always crooked.
Basically, I’m saying that if I ever go to hell, I hope it’s because of my motherfucking mouth. That’s not all I’m saying, but it’s a start.
I should also note here that I currently have 9 pieces of fiction and 1 non fiction out in the universe. I also got a very sweet note from someone who read my piece at Junk and wanted to apologize to me on behalf of her fellow medical professionals. It was really a sweet thing to do.
Back to the grind. I need to either finish another essay or finish up my new horror fiction.