A Paranoid Heart.

Occasionally I go through bouts of awful Writer Paranoia. I present to you some of the things I think after a long spell of rejections or at any random moment.

  • The word has spread amongst editors everywhere that I am a talentless asshole.
  • Everything I submit is so bad editors don’t even want to respond.
  • I have literary cooties.
  • I really fucked up my non effusive cover letters.
  • I forgot to attach/paste the stories.
  • My email address is synonymous with hack.

Etc etc.

I don’t actually believe these things.

Once upon a time I beat myself up about it. These days I let it happen for a little while then go on about my business.

The shift in my perception of submitting and getting rejected has been something that I can’t explain the how of it. It just happened. Something clicked and I got to work.

That said I do still question my perceptions.  There are some zines that I just admire and love so much I want to be in them.

At times I’m afraid I’ve offended an editor or led them to believe I haven’t read something because I send them something that isn’t a whole lot like what they publish. I go back and forth with myself about it. I worry. I more than worry I fret and will sit and have four tabs for one zine open, consulting their guidelines, their previously published works, the bios of the authors they tend to publish.

I kind of wish I just submitted willy nilly it would be way less stressful.

I started this three hours ago and have forgotten what my point was.

Have I recently given my current writing situation? Here’s how it stands.

I withdrew two pieces recently. Duotrope says:

Pending responses for last 12 months: 9
Submissions sent last 12 months: 55
Submissions sent this month: 7
Acceptance ratio for the past 12 months: 19.61 %

I’m pretty sure that by the end of the year I will have utterly destroyed my acceptance ratio.

I am sitting on two more submissions. I’m undecided about them and will wait until next week to get those out. As for right now I’m going to work on this story I started.

Also my collection is still available here. Apparently it got approved to be distributed via Itunes, Amazon, Sony and B&N. When I figure that out I’ll post about it.

One more thing, the trackback link to Pank from when I talked about them the other day is freaking hilarious.

Sorry Pank..I know I’m creepy.



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