I was having a conversation with some of my dearest lady friends about sex, kink, etc and I had one of those flash bang realizations about myself, my writing and my history happen. It has to do with personas, my own.
Incidentally (this is a complete digression) the Etruscan root of persona is the most beautiful word, ready? Phersu which is thought to mean mask. My bestie and I are getting tattoos of that word together. I have a long list of word tattoos I want but that’s a whole other thing. Back on topic.
First I want to talk about one of my great loves, I mean one of the things I have been doing my whole writing life which is my whole life.
I love fucking archetypes. As in fucking with them.
I love the idea of exploring the intricacies of say a heroine who is an archetypical house frau on top but spends her daytime hours daydreaming about strangling her husband in his sleep.
When I write horror I like to use a twisted Lolita archetype as a jump off point for all manner of creatures and monsters.
I’m not talking about playing with stereotypes per se, I do that as well but I’m talking more about the classic overarching archetypes that some of us learn about in school.
In conversation with my ladyfriends I realized that I not only do this in my writing and wrongly attributed it to some pro-ish domme work I did in my 20’s. It goes back further and deeper than that.
When I was very little, 3-5 years old I was in love with two drag queens. They were my babysitters. At their house, I put on long sequin gowns and a big fluffy red wig. I sashayed. I put on make up and belted out tunes.
As I said to another friend the other day I did not just play dress up, I put on drag shows.
I think a lot about identity and how my identity is a conflagration of so many things. Naturally, that extends to my writing but, I have not always been as aware of it.
I like these moments.
I like it when I have a sudden (or not so sudden) gut clenching realization that even if I think I’ve only been doing something recently, the truth is it’s been there all along.
I like that when I go back and read my work I understand the threads that connect the varying things. I understand deeply that yes they are often very different, but come from the same tangle of things in my brain.
These are things I think about.
In other news I have news.
In 2012 I have big plans.
I am going to start posting short email interviews with commentary by me by people I like. Artists, other writers. Anyone else I am inspired by and love. I have a good line up so far and I’m ready.
I’m also going to put together another unedited book. This time I am going to transcribe some of my paper journals as I was doing with this journal when I started it. I’m going to try not to heavily edit them. I want to present them in as raw a format as I can. I may get adventurous and try adding some of my awful little drawings, maybe some pictures of the actual handwritten pages. Close ups like my header.
And I’m just about on schedule to release my essay collection. I’m in rewrites still and I was considering trying to go the mainstream route first. However in the end I think that would defeat the original purpose of doing the collection. THey are mainly directed at my readership from my personal blog as they are the ones who have encouraged me and supported me and asked for them. It’s also extremely important that I keep them as low cost and accessible as possible.
Maybe I will if they sell well, do a special edition type collection and put it up on Lulu or something but that is a long way away.
In the new year I also want to stretch myself a little more. Get more um..I don’t know shit.
So yes things are happening.
I also want to say thank you to everyone who’s read this and commented or sent me notes. Thank you to the zines and editors I’ve worked with this year.
Be on the look out for some other potentially exciting news. There is one more major venture I might embark on but I’m not really ready to talk about it yet.
I have to work tomorrow so I’m going to do a big link dump to all the wonderful things I’ve been reading lately.