2011 review and round up.

Holy shit what a year.

A lot of crazy and wonderful things happened to me.

First let’s talk accomplishments.

I finished my essay collection, had it professionally edited by a very dear friend who is an amazing author in her own right.

I kept up this blog which admittedly has been difficult for me. I often feel like my voice in matters literary isn’t really important. However,  I know myself and I know that the things I felt in 2011 did need a place of their own. So here it is.

I also have been talking to other authors. Yes it is on the internet via various social media but, that is a big deal for me. I’m fairly shy-ish when it comes to talking to people I admire or who’s work I really enjoy.

I did not make it to any literary events which is sad but, I have plans to join a professional organization which is huge. I’d never even considered myself “eligible” before.

I gambled and did what people have been advising me against for ten years. I self published. Worse  yet I had the audacity to publish things in a less than perfect state.  And to put the glitter on the situation I am inordinately extremely proud of myself for doing it all by myself. I designed the cover, I set the price, I’ve done the promotion. Buy it here for 4$.

Other literary things.

I got nominated for a Pushcart. Holy shit right?  When I got the note from Tim, I was really sick, my partner had just had emergency surgery and I read it on my phone then went to bed. I woke up at some point and read it again, sat staring at it. Googled pushcart to make sure he was saying what I thought he was saying. I texted my best friend and went back to bed.

Now let’s go chronologically:

1/1/11 I had a piece of very short erotica published at Every Night Erotica. This piece was an experimental short short piece. My flavor of edge play kinky romance without the usual kinks. This is about punching.  That was among the first of my experimental FemDom pieces.

The next piece I had published was at Children Churches & Daddies. In this piece I wanted the reader to really hear the mind of this girl lost in workaday middle class life when her heart belongs on the street.  (This is an amazon affiliate link)

You can also see the story in the collection CC&D put together. Fragments: cc&d magazine September-December 2011 issue writings Because  they did that I was able to create an official author page at Amazon. That was also a big deal.

Next the Flash Fiction Offensive took my piece about violent reaction to racism.  What I really wanted to give the reader here is that feeling of things being too much, this story was heavily inspired by these lyrics by L7.

One More Thing-

I’ve just ’bout had enough
I’m drowning from too much stuff
I get scared when the telephone rings
Someone complaining about one more thing

One more thing
Yeah it’s one more thing
One more thing to put in line
One more thing to waste my time
One more thing that i can’t take
One more thing and i’m gonna break

You need more, well get in line
Too many things grabbin’ at my time
Tell your brother right out flat
Then I’ll have to throw your badge

One more thing
Yeah you’re one more thing
One more thing to put in line
One more thing to waste my time
One more thing that i can’t take
One more thing and I’m gonna break
Yeah you’re one more thing
Yeah, you’re one more thing

Fix my engine and the tire goes flat
It’s one more thing that I can’t have
Politics messing with my rights
There’s nothing fun to do tonight

One more thing, it’s one more thing
It’s one more thing to put in line
one more thing to waste my time
One more thing that I can’t take
one more thing and I’m gonna break
It’s one more thing… it’s one more thing
it’s one more thing… it’s one more thing

L7 is one of my favorite bands and when I wrote this story in heavy rotation.  It’s about more than beating the brakes off of a guy, it is more about feeling at home in that level of rage. This piece was rejected a lot. One editor was distinctly uncomfortable with having a female protagonist, having the character she beats up hit her back. I rewrote it with a watered down violence and it wasn’t the same. I should also mention this started me on my refusal to tone things down.

I won’t go over each and every piece. You can look at them all at my website here.

The big important thing that has been reinforced to me again is to trust my own instincts. Yes, even if no one wants to publish something I’ve written.

I re-learned that yes I have an aesthetic that often includes bad words like fuck and cunt and I’m not sorry.

I have planted my feet.

I decided (again) against separating my erotic work from my other work because it’s all my work.  I decided (again) that I don’t give a hot fuck if someone decides that since I’ve written smut they can’t take me seriously writing other things.

Again despite feeling unwelcome as I’ve mentioned recently, feeling like the outsider on the outside of the supposed alternative I will keep doing what I do. I will write my shit. Sometimes people will read my shit sometimes not.

In 2012 I will do what I do.

I will keep writing and submitting.

By the end of the month I will have out another small collection of unedited raw writing and by April a collection of semi true journal jottings.

Also keep your eye out for some short interviews with people I love and who’s work you need to see.

I’m going to trust myself. If I need to put my pain on a page I will. I won’t keep it a secret. If I have to put on my helmet and big girl panties I will.

That’s all for now.

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