Firsts, terror and whatnot.

Right after the new year I took a leap.

I pitched an article idea to a magazine cold and they are looking forward to it.

Despite their enthusiasm I am scared shitless people will hate it.

That said, I knocked another thing off of my writing list of shit I wanna do.

Also, it’s taking me some time because quite frankly writing about racism and dealing with it is fucking exhausting. It’s so tiring.

I have some posts planned that got derailed.

A lot (as in holy shit a shitload) of people read the post I wrote about never being an indie darling.

I have to admit I feel some kind of way about that. I feel like some people who’ve sent me nice messages/notes didn’t quite get my point.

I know that some of those folks were well meaning save for one very butthurt White man who told me that I should a.) write better and b.) stop “playing the race card”.

I got less of that than I was expecting. But, I feel misunderstood on some level and will address that when my article is done because I want to think about it.

First though let me make it perfectly clear that I was not trying to harsh on Ms. Calloway’s success. I honestly don’t give a shit what she writes or how it comes into being. I don’t care if it was true or not. Yes, I do find the ethics of first it was presented as fact then as fiction/the fallout but that is a personal not a professional matter.

Was her piece great to me? Not really. It’s not to my tastes. Visually there were bits that made me twitchy as a reader and honestly I didn’t find it titillating, maddening or anything. I had no real reaction to it one way or the other.

I was using her situation as an object lesson and example of what I was talking about.

Just so we’re all clear.

Now I need to go finish my article up and get it nice and shiny.

I also need to breath. Some other opportunities have popped up and I really need to step back and think about them hard.

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