I’ve been following some things about erotic romance and aside from the fact that traditional romance is not my flavor, I have been reading around and am left with questions.
Part of my issue is that the things I think are romantic are not to most people.
For instance. Rom Com movies leave me cold. I feel very meh about boy meets girl loses girl and does something epic to get girl back.
I think Natural Born Killers was romantic. High romance.
Most of the things I write that I feel are romantic often involve violence and love and sex.
Is there a such thing as alt or dark (as in subject matter not paranormal/horror flavored) romance?
Or does that only appeal to me?
Recently I finished editing a tiny flash story that I think is romantic. A dude going to turn a trick to get his sleepless girlfriend medication. Pre-rewrite I got a staunch this is -not- romance rejection for that. It made me sad.
I think this is where I feel somewhat of a disconnect from erotica in general. The things I find most erotic are, eh no that sounds pretentious.
What I find erotic are often the things that are not really quite in vogue with the markets these days. Put it that way.
Also this whole paypal thing honestly freaks my shit out.
I am such a huge lover of (and frankly have been since I discovered it) eroticizing and eroticized violence. Not the standards of SM/BDSM and kink precisely. The other things. Sometimes the edgy things.
The thump and rythym of punching the one you loe while they are tied up. (My piece in every night erotica). Being the first woman to take a shy man from behind. Biting. Blood. Death.
My love of those things has on occasion been the issue between erotica publishers and I. As this paypal bullshit has unfolded I’ve felt half stuck. And then my other impulse is to go ahead and write some of those outre things but call them literature.
I wonder if I published say the piece I’m working on that features a lot of edge play, blood, fear and finally (probably) a taste of voyeurism/exhibitionism/no fucking-stay with me- if I published that piece with it’s violence and probably some Daddy-ness in it as a literary exploration of fear that would be okay right?
If I don’t confess that what I want is for while my reader has that story on their screen, that they find themselves scrolling with one hand and jerking off with the other, that is perfectly fine. If I’m being “literary” it’s not my fault if someone gets carried away.
However if I sell that story and tell everyone about my fondest wishes for them to read it and masturbate themselves into a stupor. Then it would get pulled.
As I’ve watched all of this unfold I think about some of the handwritten stories in my beat up little steno pad.
The flasher where the protagonist gets erotically asphyxiated and his orgasm comes just before his literal death. How much that story when I wrote it moved me not so much because of the eroticism but because the protagonist went out his way.
I have to laugh at myself. Of course now that I’ve gotten older and more comfortable using more of my literary tastes in my erotica and vice versa, here comes this bullshit to deal with.
There’s little I can do about it save watch it happen and see how it turns out. If paypal doesn’t reverse the rule as the rumors say they will, I’ll figure something else out.
In reference to the title.
That was the working title of an essay I started in my steno pad. I think I may have spilled coffee on it. But the title is still pretty.
I think that’s all. I have a shitload of writing to do today and I want to get a few things wrapped up for my next round of submissions.