Strange.

Well not strange but strange.

First watch this scene from New Jack City.

New Jack City Scene

I’m writing things that feel to me like this scene.  It’s hard.

The essay on my own aggression and navigating it and displaying it as a Femme Presenting Woman has gotten out of hand. A lot of it is coming out RAGE RAGE RAGE PUNCH RAGE FUCK.

I think I have to put it away so I don’t ruin it.

I’m buckling down with my erotica. I have a goal of getting together stories that equal up to about 40K for submission purposes. Yes. A collection by me published by a real publisher. I’m so nervous about it. I keep stalling out because I don’t know. I feel like a lot of the overall erotica market is so not my flavor but after asking dearest M. Christian about it I’m on the right track.

I’m just so fucking slow.

I’ve finally straightened out the fuckery that is my ability to sleep somewhat.  It’s a very fine edge between being able to get raw while I’m exhausted and exhausted cranky baby yammering.

I’m on the good side right now.

So.

Officially I am 3/4 done with my erotic piece Coyote. After I lost a large chunk of it due to my computer being old and crabby I recovered.

The blood/edge play erotic story is chugging along. I kind of want to give it a twisted Happily Ever After. Perhaps a bloody bonding thing?

Finances at Casa De Cunty are going to be tight so I’m going to get my shawl shop open. If I can sell two of my finished ones I will make 80$. I am saving towards getting a laptop. The one I have my eye on is about 450$ which is a huge amount of money to spend to me so I want to earn it.

I also am considering putting out another small unedited collection. I think as I mentioned before it might be an experimental collection. Smaller so I can make it cheaper/more accessible.

I’m trying really hard not to panic and start selling my clothes or shoes.  I’m struggling with guilt about the 35th birthday shopping I did. I’m struggling with guilt about having two domains.

So yeah. I’m slowly working it out.

The important thing is I’m still writing.

Tomorrow I’m going to knuckle down and figure out putting my current collection on Kindle. I want that done by next week.

Okay. Back to work.

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