Thin line between love and hate.

I really hope you know the song I”m referring to.

If you don’t stop reading immediately and go listen to it on youtube.

All back?

Okay.

I’m back from being off work (writing and my dayjob) most of this week. Right now I’m doing some editing on a dirty story and it occurred to me that as I read over some of my latest erotic work I’m seeing a common thread.

The place where I like my erotica and what makes it hot for me is the conflict.

My conflicts tend to run along the line between lusty violence and domestic violence. Things that from one perspective wave all the hallmarks of an abusive awful situation and from another angle speak to a need to engage in that dangerous area and get off in the process.

This is kink but not from the angle of a traditional BDSM thing.

This is as a friend has dubbed it Big Dickin Fight Club. And dicks or no dicks involved, it is in fact sexual fight club.

After a little conversation with my beloved friend M. Christian on facebook I was looking at erotic books I”ve read over the years I had to chuckle at myself. My tastes have not changed in years.

I’ve been a member of the ERWA list for ages now and I read a lot of erotica and for the last few years I’ve felt somewhat outside of the industry. I’ve watched my taste in erotica come back and then sort of fade away as more zines closed or shifted to more emphasis on more mainstream romance.

In some ways I feel left behind a little bit. On one hand I really love that so many erotic presses and zines are publishing work that makes them money. I’m very happy to see authors I’ve enjoyed for years continue to publish work.

In other ways I find myself flailing around the markets. I am not usually able to produce for specific calls. I write then I research. I find myself doubting my judgement when I look at what’s being published and what I actually write.

I get annoyed that I am just not good at romance that isn’t my flavor of romance. I get nervous (more nervous than when I submit literary fiction) because even when I see calls for edgy/different I think I may be too outre for that.

Or I’m just being over sensitive and navel gazey.

Both probably.

I’m also thinking about why how I write these stories is important. I’ve come to realize that I don’t take a different approach when I write erotica. When I was younger and writing it I absolutely did. I tried very hard to keep some of the more dangerous elements out of my work. Interestingly as I’ve pointed out before, those stories or when I try too hard to gentle my writing, did not get published.

What got published was always what I started with.

As usual, things only get fucked up when I try too hard not to be who I am.

I had more to say but my cold meds are wearing off and I forgot what my original point was supposed to be.

I suppose per usual the big point is a reminder to myself not to try so hard to be nicer or prettier in my work.

If it needs to be bloody, it’ll be bloody. If it needs to be rough it’ll be rough. That’s fine.

That said I think I’m going to practice some more short short erotica.  I want to play more with second person and stories intended to be read aloud. That is entirely the fault of Remittance Girl because there is a certain style of voice I use every now and then that will forever be her actual voice in my head. Furthermore go listen to this story read and written by her and understand why this happens to me.

Now I’m off to play with words.

I want to try something out.

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One thought on “Thin line between love and hate.

  1. I guess at some stage in the process (in my early writing years) I thought that one day I would write a novel. But the moment I set off on that path of telling stories I realised that my style was more condensed. I was happy to do away with pages of description and provide just enough detail for the reader to get a sense of place and fill in the white space.

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