Freshly baked smut.

Sometimes in order for me to work on other things I need to freewrite for a while to clear my head.

On occasion this results in poems, today it resulted in a little first person smut. 942 words written in about 40 minutes +/- ten minutes for a smoke break.

I will trigger warn for implied violence and a little domination.

Interestingly while I was writing it, it wasn’t really the narrator doing it for me.

Under the cut here, smut ahoy.

There are sounds coming out of the room next to mine. They are the kind of sounds that might be fucking, fighting, weeping, or something else entirely.

 

I put my ear to the wall and listen; I hold my breath waiting for some clue.

 

Was that a wet noise?

 

Is someone getting a blowjob?

 

I listen harder; hear the shift of cheap motel sheets and the television turned down.

 

Does someone know I’m listening?

 

I should not be where I am but I’m here. I’m a little high and too sad to go out and pick up a stranger to make my own fuck sounds.

 

I should give up, they were probably just watching the free porn channel or something. Or listening to one of those albums that sounds like fucking but is only fucking your ears.

 

I’m too alone to be so single minded.

 

No I’m a liar. The fact is I am horny and alone somewhere other than home and I want to play pretend with strangers.

 

I change position and kneel, leaning my ear against the wall with my hand cupping my crotch. I wait, long excruciating minutes and, is that? Was that the smack of a hand on a fleshy ass? The long low groan of someone trying not to make the noise that they know is coming?

 

I hold my breath and wait.

 

A masculine groan, a dim female voice cooing in that sugary fake Lolita voice that I hate. Nothing.

 

So much for voyeurism.

 

I turn the television back on, mute the porn channel and watch the close up of a dry looking cunt, everything is always so unsatisfying.

 

He was right.

 

I turn that off and lay in the darkness with my hand on my cell phone. My fingers dial from memory, he picks up on the first ring.

 

“Bored already?”

 

He always knows, he knows. I feel like he can see.

 

“Yes. Please?”

 

His silence makes me tremble. It takes too long for him to answer.

 

“Fine. God you are a filthy fucking slut. I should belt you in the mouth.”

 

My cunt throbs, my breath catches in my throat.

 

“I know.”

 

My voice is tight and controlled. I know what to do.

 

“You already took your panties off didn’t you? Your cunt is wet and wide open, leaking. Turn your laptop on and show me.”

 

He hangs up and I scramble to obey. I flip on all the lights and position my laptop so the camera is square on my pussy, I wait and when I see his unamused face I know it will all be better soon.

 

“Go ahead slut.”

 

I open my legs wide and drag my fingers up my slit, let them slide around my already hard and throbbing clit. I hold it between two fingers stroking upwards to make it bigger.

 

“Look at that, already hard. You know what they say about women like you?”

 

I tug on my clit, unable to answer for a moment.

 

“We’re easy, good for nothing except- except”

 

I can’t finish, I put one knee up and plunge two fingers inside, it hurts a little and it makes me want him here more.

 

“Except what bitch?”

 

“Fuck toys, holes, whores.”

 

I wish I had brought toys; I want to be filled to the point of breaking. I want to hurt in the morning.

 

“Tell me what you deserve?”

 

I pull my fingers from the grip of my cunt and show him my wet pink hole, dipping a single fingertip in and out while I hold my clit with my other hand.

“To be fucked, left, hurt, broken, left in the-“

 

again I can’t finish. Words are gone.

 

“Stop.”

 

My hands stop what they are doing mid stroke, they shake and I whine.

 

“Please, please, please.”

 

“What. Do. You. Want.”

 

My cunt contracts and I feel wetness ooze, I am a messy little bitch.

 

“I want to come. I want to fuck everyone. I want, I want to be used. I want you to fuck me until I can’t move.”

 

“Continue.”

 

Desperation is taking over and I shove three fingers inside and start rubbing my clit with two spit slick fingers, tight hard circles.

 

“I want you to break me, slap me, make me suck your cock with a bloody mouth.”

 

When he answers his voice is constricted.

 

“Show me. Come.”

 

At his command my cunt starts to contract and I arch my back, furiously rubbing my clit and chewing my lip to keep those noises at bay.

 

“I can’t hear you bitch.”

 

I let them out. The guttural noises that come out of my throat are the truest things I will ever say. I can’t breathe; behind my closed eyelids I see red and then sparkling blackness as the orgasm pulls me down into a skull throbbing darkness.

 

“Stop.”

 

My hands still and I want more, I am almost in tears when I sit up and look at him. He’s smiling.

 

“Messy girl. Are you satisfied?”

 

I can’t lie he’ll know, I swallow and shake my head.

 

“I can’t see your head, speak.”

 

I have to swallow a few times before I can let anything resembling language out.

 

“No.”

 

Now it’s his turn for quiet.

 

“I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

 

The screen goes black and I close my laptop. My hands are shaking and I send a text message to my roommates to let them know I’ll be home tomorrow. Tomorrow my lip will be swollen, my cunt sore and raw, my voice fucked into a rasp and my soul settled.

 

Everything will be okay.

 

I will be okay.

 

I am just fine.

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