Quickly or not so much.

Until it reaches the bottom of the page and falls away you can find my poem Freedom over at mad swirl.

Tomorrow I believe there will be two more poems of mine published for you to read. I’ll come back with links.

I’ve been kind of immersed in the costs of my writing lately.

I do a lot of poverty math, I’m not in the kind of abject poverty I was once upon a time but, the math still hits me.

In case you’re totally confused here is my thought process when it comes to any purchase over 20$.

If it is an event, I add into the costs things like, do I have an outfit, do I have to take a cab, will I have to try and leave work early (I work a swing shift so I don’t get off until 10), etc.

This is why I tell people (I talked about this recently) that conferences and whatnot are just too expensive for me.

Expense as in time off from work, cab rides, appropriate clothing if there is an evening type event, etc etc. I have to factor in if I want to use sick/vacation hours I might need later on.

So here are expenses I am thinking about right now.

Chromebook, about 300$. Now I had planned on getting a tattoo for my birthday (BIG ass Death Head moth on my chest with some Bukowski lines) but, of course my old desk top computer would cost more than that to rebuild and I’ve already lost work. The idea of the cloud computing/shit being hooked to my google account pleases me.

Second expense I am considering.

Joining AWP.  I am on the fence about that honestly. It costs 65$ which if we’re playing brings my year total writing expenses (not including any postage/reading fees) including Duotrope and upcoming Chromebook purchase at 415$ and it’s not even halfway through the year.

I don’t know how I feel about that.

Duotrope is paid, my self care book did that.

I don’t have a lot of faith in making enough money from writing to cover the rest.

I have never been in a professional organization but okay here’s the thing.

Looking at what they do, are these things I actually need?

I am not college educated, not looking for an internship or teaching position so I don’t need career help.

There’s their magazine, discounts on classes.

I am not in their town, I don’t go to writing conferences, I don’t normally have the time or ability to go to local literary happenings because I work.

So as much as I think it would be cool to join up, I probably won’t.

So we see me worrying at something until I work it out. Per usual.

In other writing business.

I have some lingering submissions out that I need to query but haven’t simply because of laziness and I actually hate doing that.

What else?

I am thinking I’m going to stop mentioning Oshun in stories. I have two active stories both with different mentions of Oshun but from the things some editors have said in rejectins, I think because Oshun is not your standard Euro woowoo goddess,  people don’t understand.

I’m disappointed in this.

Actually let me have a bitter nobody likes me moment.

I am very uh, let’s say tired of myself.

My proverbial aim continues to be way off.

I will say though that of the non form rejections I’ve gotten, some of the things editors have said have been quite lovely. Makes the rejection sting that much more or is that just me?

So..right.

I don’t know.

I sort of feel like a lot of things I’ve written lately are not really palatable to people other than me. So per usual I worry about that. On one hand fuck it, on the other fuck I wanna get published more.

I need to work through it.

To that end I will inflict more of my yes this is nice but not for our fine magazine things on more poor editors.

One acceptance and one rejection this weekend brought my current overall acceptance rate according to Duotrope to 35.3%*.

I am going to specifically look for somewhere to place my little body image essay with the pictures.

I have no idea who might want that.

So there.

I have work to do. No more nobody loves me style pouting.

 

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