So for the last year or so I’ve made a habit of working (writing) from about midnightish when I get home from my dayjob until around 2.
I am not a good sleeper anyway and had found a balance.
Unfortunately because I rely on public transportation and my local public transportation is getting more unreliable, I have to cut my writing time down to maybe an hour at night.
I’m so sad right now. I have no other options and because writing is not the job the pays the bill, it’s the thing that gets cut.
And I still don’t have a laptop so I can’t squeeze in serious work before the dayjob.
I feel like I worked so hard to carve out that time and have been doing good things with it.
Now I’m failing because I can’t drive, can’t afford to have a vehicle and live in the fucking hood.
I have had the same dayjob for more than a decade but I can’t afford to live in the neighborhood where I work.
We can’t afford to move for a while. It’s going to be a huge few thousand dollar layout because I have shitty credit.
And the one thing that means everything to me, I have to sacrifice time devoted to it.
Too many of these things are out of my control. It’s putting rust on something really awesome that happened over the weekend writing related. I’m so frustrated by things that are out of my control or simply incredibly difficult and just barely in my grasp.
I started this really early today and I’m still out of sorts.
Tomorrow I will come post some really awesome news. Today I’m just going to continue to feel poor and sad.