If you’ve been following me for a hot minute you know I released an essay about Blackness and whatnot. See that here and purchase for 1.50 if you like.
I haven’t sold that many copies and one person after reading it took issue with this:
Whatever happens the truth is you cannot tell Whiteness no.
That is basically most of the point of the piece and the person who emailed me, whether they intended to or not completely proved my point.
When you as a part of a group that is being talked about respond with things like, “not all X people are like that” you are willfully missing the point. You are being part of the them you are so adamantly denying.
This is a moment where the adage shut up and listen needs to be heard and often isn’t heeded.
My essay is entirely about how Whiteness as a thing does not allow for me as a person of color to say no or to deny it in any way. When I do, I am apparently “the problem” or “not doing anything about it”.
Here is the deal.
I am not going to suck your dick in order for you to treat me like a complete complex human being. Not in my writing, not in my walking around life and not in my activism. There is this constant noise coming from self appointed allies who shout louder and louder when they take something that I experience personally as a slight.
In the context of talking about racism or racism that I personally have and do actually experience, frankly I don’t give a hot fuck about the fact that how I talk about or deal with these things hurts your feelings. Every time one of you comes riding into one of my various inboxes or contacts me through social media to vehemently deny my experience, with that action you are telling me that my words, my work my actions and my personhood doesn’t matter as much as your hurt feelings.
You are telling me that my life and experience that I share even though it’s painful and hurts me, is less valuable than you feeling like the White Savior you envision yourself to be.
So let’s be clear.
If you are a White person who has hurt feelings when POC talk about fuck Whiteness I am not for you.
Don’t read my work.
Don’t read my blog.
Don’t buy my shit.
I don’t need you and your tears.
I don’t need to validate your hurt feelings.
I don’t need you to save me from my life.
I don’t want you.
I am not the Kindly Magical Negress you are looking for.
I will not hold your hand and reassure you about how not racist you are.
My words, my pain, my blood, my joy are not for you.
I am not for you.
Are we clear?
If all that is too complicated to process let’s leave it at this.
If you read this and are firing up to tell me that you are SO NOT ONE OF THOSE WHITE PEOPLE, you are doing it wrong. Shut this shit down and get thee to another tab.
I am not here for that, I am not here for you and I hope your feelings are hurt.
I am real through and I am not wasting my time or limited energy on your shit.