Fuck my Whole Life

I’ve been immersed in writing and editing a very important piece.

I’ve been working on this fucking shit for three weeks. It’s not what I wanted to write and my other attempts to write something else for this special thing have been shit.

Like dog shit.

So while I’ve been working last week I really fucked it up and had to revert to the original and start over. Have I mentioned lately that when I get nervous I tend to be a slash and burn/salt the earth level editor?

Fuck my life.






So now is this what it’s like to have people ask you to write things? It’s really fucking hard and I am kind of losing my shit. I am at the point of wanting to just run around yelling suck my dick, which won’t help but might make me feel better.

The panic will pass. I’ll get my shit together, drink some coffee, take my lil computer bloop someplace and sit my ass down until I get my shit worked out.

So in the meantime how about some stuff I think y’all might want to read?

Let’s start with what I’m reading right now.

I’m reading Tell my Horse HA my version is out of print but you can get other covers. It’s really great. There are a few language of the times things that bother me a little but really it’s such a beautiful thing to read history this way as written by a person of color. It’s really beautiful.

It is ridiculous how good that book is.

I’m also reading The Marbled Swarm by Dennis Cooper. Fuck I fucking love Dennis Cooper. He’s a really nice person (note to self return to his blog and say hi/love) AND his work has been a major influence on me since I first started reading it. This book is almost florid in comparison with his other work and I really love it. It’s not a long book but it’s dense and delicious like chocolate mousse.

Now what I’m reading next.

Next up I’m SO excited to finally get to read Bad Sex on Speed by Jerry Stahl. We know I love JerryStahl in a creepy I’d probably stare at him from across an aisle on the bus in a really creepy way kind of love. I haven’t been able to afford to get this but I have a tiny bit of mad money so I’m buying it. I’m into it.

Then I’m going to read Mona Lisa Overdrive by William Gibson. I found I have a copy and realized I hadn’t read it.

OH ALSO shit guys I almost forgot.

Quite a while back I entered a tiny piece of erotic experimental flash fiction and won a spot in Solarcide’s Sinthology.  You can buy it there or through Amazon here soon. I am so excited about that story. It’s tiny but it’s a mix of two tinier flash pieces, and two poems. I reformatted and actually used special formatting and am really excited it was successful. So go get some.

Now for some other stuff I’m into right now.

First up from Linden Avenue via their tumblr. They are looking for a social media person who can get a small stipend and guest editors. Get the lowdown here.

Also a dear friend of mine is doing an indie zine and if you have a chronic illness or know writers/artists who do SEND THEM HERE.

Um so yeah.

I think that’s all for right now I’m exhausted.



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