I’m tired and forgot to take some of my medications so I just want to whine a little.
- I do not have enough money to buy everything I have been published in so I can have hard copies.
- I also do not have the loose cash to buy my friends books, the new books I want to read and stuff.
- I do not have the money to support my fellow POC in their endeavours when they ask me to and I feel some type of way about it.
- On the flip side of that most of the people who ask me directly to help fund stuff know me and know I’m poor. So I also feel some type of way about that.
- Wow I am super cranky.
- I also feel some type of way about the many artists/writers/other creative types I know who will ask me for 99 different kinds of support but if I ask a favor or talk to them on a beyond marketing level, fuckin crickets.
I’m having kind of a day at work. My blood sugar is low. And I have work to do.
Speaking of work I’ve started rewriting my self care guide. I am very excited about the new structure and content.
I’m not as excited about some folks Iknow insisting I shop it when I just don’t feel that would be right for this. I will put it out on Etsy and if there is a call I might put it up via createspace or something for a print version. The serious business fact is that I need to keep it accessible and it’s more important to me to get it out within the next month than it is to have it picked up by some publisher.
Blasphemy I know. I’m punk as fuck.
There are important to me reasons behind my methods.
The other part of my crabbiness is that I feel somewhat bombarded by morons. Mean, ugly spirited people saying mean ugly spirited things and I keep not seeig a lot of critical or any kind of thinking. So much down low and blatant racism and trans mysoginy from people I used to like/respect. It just wears me down. It makes me feel like I should be toughening up my hide but even at almost 37 years old I just cannot deal with it on such a daily basis.
It comes from everywhere, no where is safe. There is no place for me to go. Nothing I can read. No lols I don’t have shit.
That in mind I am going to finally get some fucking food, do some Kindle Cloud reading (someone please remind me to talk about how obsessed with kindle books I am right now), and do some more writing.
OH also I am hopefully going to recode my author site here soonish. After my birthday for sure. Stay tuned.