- Solicit work from me in a manner that is unprofessional and shows you have never read a word I’ve ever written. Recently I have been sent three different pitches asking me to submit things to places that: a.) don’t exist yet and therefor I cannot get “a solid grasp of [name redacted]’s aesthetics”. Um, I pointed this out to the person who emailed me but if I don’t know you, you don’t give me a reference point HOW the real fuck am I supposed to know what you like? Also don’t follow up me asking about said aesthetics with some passive aggressive OMG I can’t believe you asked me that type bullshit. b.) seem to publish only nice uplifting things that support Nice White Ladyness. Uh..again. Have you read anything I have written EVER?
- Along the same theme. If you talk to me to work with me and from the long list of authors you love there is not one author of color um, I am going to find you questionable.
- In spite of my anxiety fueled disco freakout at AWP (read about it here) I did actually make some business related contacts. I’m going to try not to be indelicate about this but I did tell the person involved I would talk about this in a general way. Okay so person and I meet, exchange web info. Person reads some of my work and proceeds to go into Captain Save A Ho form. They gave me a lot of unsolicited and frankly not for me advice about how many ways I have already pretty much ruined any career I might have. My errors? Talking about race so much, talking about myself, self publishing, not using a pen name for my erotica, being critical of writers more famous than I am, so you know pretty much everything I say or do. I know this person had good intentions but here’s the thing. If being a well known, monied author means I cannot be who I actually am than it is not really worth it to me. If success in this instance means I have to coon for the mainstream, it is not going to happen.
Can we talk about that?
Honestly as much as I would really like to get paid more often for my work and stuff, I don’t want to do it if it means I cannot be honest to who I am as an author and human being. That is why I put that feminism essay out on my own. It is so far away from what most people say about feminism and the editorial changes that were suggested by someone I submitted it to would have turned it into something it wasn’t.
The thing is, I had to decide if I wanted my work to be honest and as is in terms of subject matter or did I want to get published in a magazine with a pretty huge audience but have it be a lie.
Being that I have a job that pays the rent, I’m just not going to do that.
I look back and see how many years compromising like that I spent and how it really got me nothing and I just don’t want to do that anymore.
If that means I toil away in obscurity forever that’s fine.
So there we have it.
Probably another reason I won’t ever be super famous and why I am pretty okay with that.
My work means enough to me that I won’t make it palatable to Whiteness, the Patriarchy etc just for a few dollars.
Or even the mythical major book deal.
I don’t get down like that.
So that’s about all for right now. I am just getting to chapter 4 of the self care book and I am really excited about it.
And as always if you check out my sidebar there you can go drop a few dollars and get something to read.