I’m feeling emotionally better. Thank the Gods of Chaos I have a strong support system for when shit gets to be too much.
And shit was too fucking much.
I’m almost done with V2.0 of the self care book and I am very excited.
AND I have been doing some serious amazing reading.
So first I just finished Legs Get Led Astray by Chloe Caldwell. I am pretty sure I first heard her name from my friend Milcah and I started following along after her on the internets. See her site here.
I was ready for this to be good but goddamn it is pretty great. I love the way she writes about people she loves. It’s not all hearts and flowers, it’s hearts and flowers and some grit and grime. We know I love that. I feel like I will probably start creepily tracking down all her stuff and reading it because I just love it.
Next up I started listening to the Sword of Shannara. So far I have a lot of thoughts not all of them good.
Normally by this point in a book I know if I like it or not. This one I’m not so certain. I feel like some of the battle scenes so far could have been more, more exposition of the magical world they are in.
On the other hand that might have been heavy handed.
I do see where people are saying it is watered down Tolkien but I wouldn’t say that. It is in the same realm but not the same thing to me.
I finally got my little hands on a copy of Antonia’s book Spent. First of all the design on that book is fucking stellar. The half dust jackety bit, the colors. Really a stunner. Even if I didn’t know Antonia and I spotted the book I’d be likely to buy it just because it is gorgeous.
I read a tiny bit of it and fuck y’all. We know I am already pretty in sparkly literary lady love (alliteration ftw I’m doped to the gils on dayquil right now) with Antonia Crane. She is my kind of people. The writing is stellar.
It just is.
Also she put my name in the thank yous bit, when she told me on facebooks I looked and teared up a little bit.
The thing is years ago I never thought I would find my people in terms of the literary world. I felt out of place and like I had no voice in the greater literary community and that I shouldn’t talk to other writers because I don’t have an MFA, I don’t write books etc etc etc.
The fact that I have met and been in the background support for other people I think are super talented, that there are people in the world who aren’t my best friend or partner and believe FULLY in my voice and my work…fuck y’all.
That is something I never foresaw myself having.
It feels good.
It feels good to know that while yes I am frequently shouting into the void, sometimes the void shouts back. Sometimes it kicks me in the ass, sometimes it just says, I like you and want you in my universe and that is pretty fucking great.
Having actual humans who’s work I really love, tell me I matter is something I cherish.
Now don’t get it twisted I don’t need outside validation to keep going.
But it is nice to have someone say, you are my people. I like my people. Come be my people, is really fucking great.
I’ve also realized that this little spot in the Universe that I am inhabiting right now is kind of okay. I like it.
Oh I just finished line editing my second spec fic story I’ve ever seriously written. I am going to send it off later tonight I think.
I am still feeling a lot of discomfort as a writer when it comes to genre fiction.
I don’t know. I’m sending my stuff anyway and crossing my fingers my feelings will resolve themselves.
Okay that’s all. Time for more dayquil and dayjob shit.