OH…hi. I am here and shit.

Hello friends! It has been a minute and I return to say holy shit.

Y’all we got moved. Shit was awful. Everything went wrong and I cried a lot, had a lot of panic attacks and almost got in a fistfight with an irresponsible shitbag “mover”.

So here we are.

I did a new loveletter yesterday and talked a lot about stuff what is changing.

I’m getting back into a daily writing routine and that feels awesome except um…………..apparently I’ve forgotten how to write some stuff? Or is that anxiety being a lying ass liar?

I am feeling some type of way about writing words that aren’t related to the Daiyuverse or poetry. I keep having to remind myself that prior to movepocalypse, I also didn’t totally know what I was doing and so nothing has really changed.

I feel like I need to remember who I actually am.

I’m a perpetually freaked out anxious bag of shit who pretty much writes things and sorts it out later. I don’t have to know how to do shit other than what I know I can do.

I had this whole plan on hitting the ground at speed and diving back into freelance work and SCLAB AND AND AND WRITE ALL THE MOTHER FUCKING THINGS AND……..well I don’t work that way.

So I’ve been writing like a mother fucker. I wrote this #metoo related thing. I’m figuring out how I do think pieces again.

How about a bite of some weirdish fiction?

I had no one close to me. And how many people wear red? I left.  I am afraid. I am not here. I am afraid. I am not here.  

Now, I skulk around my apartment and have learned to tolerate my invisibility. I pay my rent online, I read forums and feel known in bytes and cartoon avatars. Instant messaging has become, my favorite thing. 

Invisible_Rainbow99: Hey, how are u doing? 

I am not here. I am afraid. I am not here. I am afraid. I am not here. I am afraid. I am not here. I am afraid. I am not here. 

Chronicthepoopdog: not bad u? 

Invisible_Rainbow99: Okay I guess. Weird day. Think I might order some food and work from home. Feel….. 

Chronicthepoopdog: ?? 

Invisible_Rainbow99: like I am not real. Anxiety probs. U know how it is. 

YES the thing that pops out I did on purpose.

I’m figuring out how I’m recoverng from the move emotionally and physically. I’m figuring out what I want to write.

I think I’m gonna be all right.

OH and my swagshop is reopened. I’ll be adding some new stuff soonish.

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