What ten years looks like.

I was digging around in my files for something and I stumbled on a copy of my most comprehensive submission tracking. Y’alls. You want to see what almost ten years of rejection looks like?

First thing, there are a lot of them missing. Looking at a couple of other ones and looking through my email, the actual submission numbers for 9/7/2010 through 8/20/19 are closer to 1k or so. But y’all know how much of a data driven boner type person I am so here we gonna get it.

You’ll notice almost all of these are rejections. Some of these things got picked up. Some never did. Some I don’t even remember writing.

This is why I say I eat rejection. I think I have another whole ass list (different) that if I can find it I will post it.

Buckle up babes.

Title	Submission Date	Organization	Status
Walker	9/7/2010 2:07	Necessary Fiction	Declined
Waking Oshun	9/22/2010 20:48	decomP magazinE	Declined
Being Human	1/21/2011 21:16	kill author	Declined
Still a Strange Girl.	2/2/2011 22:46	Battered Suitcase	Accepted
Selling Myself	2/28/2011 21:25	Monkeybicycle	Declined
Familiar Skin	3/4/2011 2:37	Storyglossia	Declined
Familiar Skin	3/7/2011 17:49	Necessary Fiction	Declined
Lady Things	3/21/2011 18:17	Eclectic Flash	Declined
Lady Things	3/25/2011 22:53	fwriction : review	Declined
Ladies Night	3/27/2011 3:25	Leodegraunce	Declined
Ingenue	3/28/2011 20:25	A-Minor	Declined
Sleeping Beast	3/29/2011 2:22	ABJECTIVE	Declined
She Didn’t Make It.	4/14/2011 2:15	Little Episodes	Declined
Dog and Girl	6/10/2011 3:09	d.ustb.in	Withdrawn
Keith  Appropriately.	6/14/2011 21:55	The Midwest Coast Review	Declined
Meeting God	7/15/2011 17:53	wtf pwm	Declined
Lady Things	7/21/2011 20:39	Stone Highway Review	Declined
Lovers of the Ages	7/28/2011 3:22	Specter: A Curated Literary Website	Declined
Baby Miracle In Love	7/29/2011 17:08	Black Fox Literary Magazine	Withdrawn
Lovers of the Ages	8/15/2011 17:54	Metazen	Withdrawn
Nice Ladies and Wild Women	8/19/2011 18:44	[PANK]	Declined
Good Bye Fat Girl	8/24/2011 17:35	Used Furniture Review	Declined
Good Bye Fat Girl	9/2/2011 17:20	fwriction : review	Declined
Goodbye Music	9/9/2011 17:37	Word Riot	Declined
Familiar Skin	9/10/2011 3:04	Atticus Review	Declined
Goodbye Music.	9/13/2011 17:15	Belletrist Coterie	Declined
In HippySunshine I Trusted	10/10/2011 17:37	Specter: A Curated Literary Website	Accepted
Single Black Female	10/26/2011 17:21	Gertrude Press	Declined
Calling Oshun	10/31/2011 17:52	MUD LUSCIOUS PRESS	Declined
Several Poems.	11/8/2011 17:27	Counterexample Poetics	Declined
Familiar Skin	11/8/2011 18:03	Left Hooks	Declined
Four Poems by Shannon Barber	12/9/2011 22:02	Camroc Press Review	Declined
4 Poems.	12/14/2011 18:43	Interrobang Magazine	Declined
The Woman in the Niqab	12/14/2011 18:56	Dark Sky Magazine	Declined
The Black Mermaid.	12/26/2011 17:09	Publishing Genius	Withdrawn
For Her to Sleep.	2/21/2012 3:01	Word Riot	Declined
Familiar Skin	2/23/2012 2:39	Girls with Insurance	Withdrawn
Awful. Greedy. Beauty.	3/1/2012 21:00	Two Serious Ladies	Declined
Awful. Greedy. Beauty.	3/7/2012 18:28	Corium Magazine	Declined
Girls  Girls  Girls	4/23/2012 18:57	SmokeLong Quarterly	Accepted
Flirt.	5/11/2012 3:23	The Molotov Cocktail	Accepted
Familiar Skin	6/15/2012 3:47	Linden Avenue Literary Journal	Accepted
Nice Ladies and Wild Women	6/15/2012 4:11	fwriction : review	Declined
Te Quiero Butthead.	7/31/2012 4:23	Out of the Gutter Online	Declined
Princess  The Dope Fiend and Daddy: A love story.	8/8/2012 4:59	Slit Your Wrists! Magazine	Withdrawn
No Habla	8/8/2012 5:37	Camroc Press Review	Declined
Te Quiero Butthead	8/11/2012 2:52	The Monarch Review	Declined
No Habla	8/11/2012 3:08	Used Furniture Review	Accepted
The Female of the Species	9/11/2012 3:25	Menacing Hedge	Declined
Black Mermaid	11/26/2012 18:16	Quickly	Withdrawn
Keep Her Away From Me.	11/26/2012 19:41	Word Riot	Declined
Go Home.	11/30/2012 18:46	Northern Lake Publishing	Declined
Keep Her Away From Me.	12/5/2012 17:31	Bloom	Withdrawn
Go Home.	12/7/2012 2:53	Side B Magazine	Declined
She Didn’t Make It	12/13/2012 3:55	deactivated TOSKA Magazine	Accepted
Various poems.	12/26/2012 2:37	Behind Closed Doors	Withdrawn
Of a Body	2/4/2013 17:51	Unshod Quills	Declined
Go Home.	2/21/2013 16:54	Curbside Splendor Publishing	Withdrawn
Bridget Approved.	3/21/2013 18:54	Looseleaf Tea	Accepted
Princess  Daddy and the Dope Fiend	3/27/2013 19:18	Necessary Fiction	Declined
Black Mermaid.	5/4/2013 3:22	Jersey Devil Press	Declined
A Small selection of poems.	6/5/2013 3:32	Bone Bouquet	Declined
Of a Body	6/5/2013 18:13	BLACKBERRY: a magazine	Declined
Princess  The Dope Fiend and Daddy: A love story.	6/5/2013 20:28	Prickly Pear Printing	Declined
You Are Not Us.	7/1/2013 19:03	Word Riot	Declined
You Are Not Us.	7/6/2013 3:03	The Rumpus	Declined
Princess  The Dope Fiend and Daddy: A love story.	7/15/2013 16:50	10 000 Tons of Black Ink	Declined
Of a Body	7/15/2013 17:15	Gravel	Accepted
A Woman Obsessed.	7/22/2013 16:46	Portland Review	Withdrawn
Dream of a Not Mother	7/23/2013 21:40	Cease  Cows	Declined
Poetry Submission from S. Barber	10/20/2013 17:43	Birdfeast	Declined
The Quick Dozens	12/18/2013 4:10	The Citron Review	Declined
Various Poems	1/9/2014 3:35	DREGINALD	Declined
Tempted	1/26/2014 17:45	[PANK]	Declined
Go Back.	2/6/2014 20:46	Vending Machine Press	Declined
Meditations of an Aging Whore	4/18/2014 19:09	tNY.Press	Declined
Cutter Love	4/22/2014 18:38	Red Bridge Press	Declined
Tempted	5/11/2014 18:18	freeze frame fiction	Declined
Becoming Mujer Congelada	6/6/2014 19:37	Menacing Hedge	Declined
Meditations of an Aging Whore	6/6/2014 19:56	ExFic	Accepted
Various Poems.	8/26/2014 3:54	Barn Owl Review	Declined
Driver	8/29/2014 3:31	Wyvern Lit	Declined
Driver	11/29/2014 13:53	The James Franco Review	Declined
Driver	12/16/2014 22:14	Gay Magazine	Declined
In Mourning of Us	9/7/2015 20:31	The Offing	Declined
How I Could Just Kill a Man	3/10/2016 21:28	The Offing	Declined
Poetry Suite Submission	6/24/2016 17:04	The Suburban Review	Declined
Body For War	7/14/2016 21:07	Black Warrior Review	Declined
Cocaine Monster	9/1/2016 23:22	Intrinsick	Declined
Black and High Functioning.	10/6/2016 21:32	The Manifest-Station	Accepted
The Cowboy’s Mermaid or A Story of Wet Love in the Dry World	12/22/2016 21:25	Rigorous	Accepted
Quickest and Dirtiest Guide to Diversify Your Publication.	7/11/2017 16:22	Submittable Content for Creatives	Declined
Various Poems.	8/2/2017 11:34	Okey-Panky	Withdrawn
JT Leroy Is My Daddy	11/11/2017 14:42	Electric Literature	Declined
Misc Poems	3/7/2018 13:28	POETRY Magazine	Declined
Misc Poems by S. Barber.	5/10/2018 14:45	Dream Pop Press	Declined
The Boy. The Black Man.	5/15/2018 16:41	The Rumpus	Declined
Misc Poems	5/16/2018 10:27	The Offing	Withdrawn
Misc Poems	5/30/2018 13:15	BOAAT PRESS	Declined
Shannon Barber	6/8/2018 14:32	Submittable Promotion	Completed
We. Them. I. Us./Black Reign. For BBQ Becky  Permit Patty and other scared White People. /Generational Blood Songs.	6/29/2018 11:24	The Sun Magazine	Declined
Tongue Fuck	7/13/2018 11:42	The Molotov Cocktail	Declined
Bad Bitches Suite	7/24/2018 11:06	Virginia Quarterly Review	Declined
We. Them. I. Us.	8/31/2018 11:03	The Adroit Journal	Declined
We. Them. I. Us.	9/12/2018 11:36	Electric Literature	Declined
Blood Fugue	4/20/2019 15:30	Heavy Feather Review	Accepted
I Confess. I Hurt.	5/3/2019 14:15	Gay Magazine	Declined
Make me a Monster	8/20/2019 15:34	The Rumpus	In-Progress

Hi you still here? BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE. I found another sheet. From 3/29/10 through 8/29/14. Buckle in babe.

Piece	Market	Date Sent	Response
Murder Room	Sex and Murder	29-Mar-10	Acceptance
Self  Vs. Self	Sleep. Snort. Fuck.	21-Jun-10	Acceptance
Bloody Knuckles	Molotov Cocktail, The	13-Jul-10	rejection
Bloody Knuckles	Underground Voices Magazine	23-Jul-10	rejection
Black Girl is a Dreamer.	amphibi.us	27-Jul-10	Acceptance
‘Parasites Who Are Lovers	Brain Harvest	27-Jul-10	rejection
Bloody Knuckles	Out of the Gutter	10-Aug-10	Acceptance
Want	Black Words On White Paper (bwowp)	31-Aug-10	Withdrawal by author
Walker	Necessary Fiction	7-Sep-10	rejection
Walker	Red Fez	17-Sep-10	rejection
Street love	Sleep. Snort. Fuck.	17-Sep-10	Never Responded
Waking Oshun	decomP	22-Sep-10	rejection
Thank you Tony.	Legendary, The	28-Sep-10	Acceptance
True Love	delinquent, the	5-Oct-10	rejection
Waking Oshun	Misfit Magazine	25-Oct-10	rejection
4 poems	Gutter Eloquence	1-Dec-10	Acceptance
I Cannot Wait	THIS Literary Magazine	1-Dec-10	Acceptance
True Love	Every Night Erotica	5-Dec-10	Acceptance
A Golden Misadventure	Sexology: A Literary Journal of Sex Writing	5-Dec-10	Never Responded
Still in the Streets	Children, Churches and Daddies	21-Jan-11	Acceptance
Being Human	kill author	21-Jan-11	rejection
Waking Oshun	Every Day Fiction	31-Jan-11	rejection
Still a Strange Girl	Battered Suitcase, The	2-Feb-11	Acceptance
‘Parasites Who Are Lovers	Circlet Press (Website)	2-Feb-11	rejection
Being Human	Night Train	28-Feb-11	rejection
Familiar skin	Storyglossia	4-Mar-11	rejection
Being Human	Bastards and Whores	4-Mar-11	rejection
Familiar skin	Necessary Fiction	7-Mar-11	rejection
The girl I met	Amaranthine Muses	24-Mar-11	Acceptance
Familiar skin	Sick of ‘Em?: The Anti-Literary Journal	24-Mar-11	Never Responded
Meeting God	Short, Fast, and Deadly	25-Mar-11	rejection
Ladies Night	Leodegraunce	27-Mar-11	rejection
Ingenue	A-Minor	28-Mar-11	rejection
Sleeping Beast	ABJECTIVE	29-Mar-11	rejection
Never a wife	One Forty Fiction	29-Mar-11	rejection
Ingenue	Dr. Hurley’s Snake-Oil Cure	31-Mar-11	rejection
Ladies Night	DOGZPLOT	4-Apr-11	rejection
Waking Oshun	Strange Horizons	12-Apr-11	rejection
Ingenue	Literary Burlesque, The	5-May-11	Acceptance
Ladies Night	Anomaly	5-May-11	rejection
Sleeping Beast	Death Head Grin	5-May-11	Acceptance
Selling Myself	Busk	9-May-11	Never Responded
Dog and Girl	d.ustb.in	10-Jun-11	Withdrawal by author
Single Black Female	Staccato Fiction	27-Jun-11	Withdrawal by author
Meeting God	wtf pwm	15-Jul-11	rejection
Lady Things	Stone Highway Review	21-Jul-11	rejection
Bite	Freaky Fountain Press Showcase	28-Jul-11	Acceptance
Lovers of the Ages	Specter Magazine	28-Jul-11	rejection
Senryu Duet	Mused: The BellaOnline Literary Review	29-Jul-11	Acceptance
3 poems- murderer. 5 lies about shannon, burned an	Ink Sweat & Tears	29-Jul-11	rejection
Baby miracle in love	Black Fox Literary Magazine	29-Jul-11	Withdrawal by author
Lady Things	Burner Magazine	29-Jul-11	Never Responded
Waking Oshun	Pear Noir!	8-Aug-11	rejection
Lovers of the Ages	Metazen	15-Aug-11	Withdrawal by author
Nice Ladies and Wild Women	PANK Magazine	19-Aug-11	rejection
Goodbye Fatgirl	Used Furniture Review	24-Aug-11	rejection
Meeting God	Furious Fictions	26-Aug-11	rejection
3 poems- murderer. 5 lies about shannon, burned an	Clutching at Straws	31-Aug-11	rejection
Owner of Mouths	Other Room, The	1-Sep-11	rejection
Goodbye Fatgirl	fwriction : review	2-Sep-11	rejection
Nice Ladies and Wild Women	Fix It Broken	2-Sep-11	Withdrawal by author
Goodbye Music	Word Riot	9-Sep-11	rejection
3 poems	Indigo Rising Magazine	9-Sep-11	rejection
3 poems	Spilling Ink Review	9-Sep-11	rejection
Goodbye Music	elimae	10-Sep-11	rejection
Familiar skin	Atticus Review	10-Sep-11	rejection
Goodbye Music	Belletrist Coterie	13-Sep-11	rejection
Selling Myself	Whistling Fire, The	19-Sep-11	rejection
The Woman in the Niqab	Neon	26-Sep-11	rejection
The Woman in the Niqab	Eunoia Review	10-Oct-11	rejection
In Hippy Sunshine I Trusted	Specter Magazine	10-Oct-11	Acceptance
Dog and Girl	Cezanne’s Carrot	10-Oct-11	rejection
Single Black Female	Pure Francis	24-Oct-11	rejection
Goodbye Music	Scissors & Spackle	24-Oct-11	Acceptance
Baby miracle in love	Bare Root Review	24-Oct-11	Never Responded
Being Human	Corvus	25-Oct-11	rejection
Single Black Female	Gertrude	26-Oct-11	rejection
Waking Oshun	Mud Luscious Press [online quarterly]	31-Oct-11	rejection
Goodbye Fatgirl	Milk Sugar: An Online Literary Journal	31-Oct-11	Acceptance
The Woman in the Niqab	Read Fiction	31-Oct-11	Withdrawal by author
3 poems- murderer. 5 lies about shannon, burned an	Counterexample Poetics	8-Nov-11	rejection
Familiar skin	Knockout	8-Nov-11	rejection
4 new/old poems	Camroc Press Review	9-Dec-11	rejection
Corporate whore	Left Behind: A Journal of Shock Literature	9-Dec-11	Never Responded
3 poems- murderer. 5 lies about shannon, burned an	Subliminal Interiors	9-Dec-11	Never Responded
Dog and Girl	Foliate Oak Literary Magazine	14-Dec-11	Acceptance
4 poems	Interrobang?!	14-Dec-11	rejection
The Woman in the Niqab	Dark Sky Magazine	14-Dec-11	rejection
Waking Oshun	Melusine	14-Dec-11	rejection
Black Mermaid	Everyday Genius	26-Dec-11	Withdrawal by author
Waking Oshun	Wigleaf: (very) short fiction	3-Jan-12	Withdrawal by author
3 poems- murderer. 5 lies about shannon, burned an	Randomly Accessed Poetics	6-Feb-12	Acceptance
No Habla	Apocrypha and Abstractions	13-Feb-12	rejection
For Her to Sleep	Word Riot	21-Feb-12	rejection
Being Human	Dirtflask	21-Feb-12	rejection
Black Mermaid	anderbo.com	22-Feb-12	rejection
Familiar skin	Girls with Insurance	23-Feb-12	Withdrawal by author
Awful Greedy Beauty	Absinthe Revival	28-Feb-12	rejection
Awful Greedy Beauty	Corium Magazine	7-Mar-12	rejection
No Habla	Ad Hominem	19-Mar-12	Lost/Returned
Girls Girls Girls.	SmokeLong Quarterly	23-Apr-12	Acceptance
Flirt	Molotov Cocktail, The	11-May-12	Acceptance
3 poems- murderer. 5 lies about shannon, burned an	Smoking Poet, The	14-May-12	rejection
Familiar skin	Linden Avenue Literary Journal	15-Jun-12	Acceptance
Nice Ladies and Wild Women	fwriction : review	15-Jun-12	rejection
Single Black Female	Belly Fat Magazine	15-Jun-12	Never Responded
Insomnia	Shadowbox	18-Jun-12	Withdrawal by author
Te Quiero Butthead	Out of the Gutter	31-Jul-12	rejection
No Habla	Camroc Press Review	8-Aug-12	rejection
Princess, The Dope Fiend and Daddy: A love story	Slit Your Wrists! E-Zine	8-Aug-12	Withdrawal by author
Te Quiero Butthead	Monarch Review, The	11-Aug-12	rejection
No Habla	Used Furniture Review	11-Aug-12	Acceptance
Te Quiero Butthead	Bone Parade	20-Aug-12	rejection
Black Dyke Dream or Prayer to Gay Oshun	Broad!	7-Sep-12	rejection
Being Human	Menacing Hedge	11-Sep-12	rejection
Being Human	Linguistic Erosion	4-Oct-12	Acceptance
Te Quiero Butthead	Yellow Mama	8-Oct-12	Acceptance
Nice Ladies and Wild Women	Word Riot	26-Nov-12	rejection
Black Mermaid	Quickly	26-Nov-12	Withdrawal by author
Go Home	Rusty Nail, The	30-Nov-12	rejection
Digger	Safety Pin Review	5-Dec-12	rejection
Coffee Blue	Aberration Labyrinth	5-Dec-12	Acceptance
Day/Dreamer	Aberration Labyrinth	5-Dec-12	Acceptance
Nice Ladies and Wild Women	BLOOM	5-Dec-12	Withdrawal by author
Awful Greedy Beauty	Thirteen Myna Birds	7-Dec-12	Withdrawal by author
Go Home	Side B Magazine	7-Dec-12	rejection
Princess, The Dope Fiend and Daddy: A love story	FRiGG	12-Dec-12	rejection
Digger	Misfits’ Miscellany	12-Dec-12	Never Responded
She Didn’t Make it	TOSKA	13-Dec-12	Acceptance
Feminism Beat Me	Red Fez	13-Dec-12	rejection
Freedom	Brevity Poetry Review	26-Dec-12	rejection
Firestarters	Infernal Ink Magazine: Devilishly Erotic Horror	26-Dec-12	Acceptance
Lycanthrope	Behind Closed Doors	26-Dec-12	Withdrawal by author
Bridget Approved Blackness	Crack the Spine	28-Dec-12	rejection
Freedom	Mad Swirl	28-Dec-12	Acceptance
Awful Greedy Beauty	Flash Me! The Sinthology	19-Jan-13	Acceptance
Of A Body	Unshod Quills	4-Feb-13	rejection
My hood	Drabblecast	11-Feb-13	rejection
Go Home	Eunoia Review	20-Feb-13	rejection
Go Home	Curbside Splendor E-Zine	21-Feb-13	Withdrawal by author
Insomnia	damselfly press	25-Feb-13	rejection
Killer, Duck and The Boys	Thuglit	9-Mar-13	Acceptance
Of A Body	Momma Tried	18-Mar-13	Withdrawal by author
My hood	Animal: A Beast of a Literary Magazine	18-Mar-13	Acceptance
Bridget Approved Blackness	Looseleaf Tea	21-Mar-13	Acceptance
Waking Oshun	Expanded Horizons	27-Mar-13	Acceptance
Princess, The Dope Fiend and Daddy: A love story	Necessary Fiction	27-Mar-13	rejection
I Grew Up To Be Her	Coming Together: Girl on Girl	4-Apr-13	rejection
Glass Girl/Woman. Alone	Bop Dead City	3-May-13	rejection
Black Mermaid	Jersey Devil Press	4-May-13	rejection
Minstrel Show	Fiddleblack	4-May-13	rejection
Glass Girl/Woman. Alone	Dressing Room Poetry Journal	4-May-13	rejection
Bad Shannon(s) at the End of the World	Visceral Uterus	10-May-13	rejection
Lycanthrope	Rattle	15-May-13	rejection
Glass Girl/Woman. Alone	Bone Bouquet	5-Jun-13	rejection
Princess, The Dope Fiend and Daddy: A love story	Wilde Magazine	5-Jun-13	rejection
Of A Body	Blackberry: a magazine	5-Jun-13	rejection
Insomnia	Epiphany: An Unpretentious Publication	6-Jun-13	rejection
Bernie’s Warg	Pseudopod	8-Jun-13	rejection
Glass Girl/Woman. Alone	Sugar House Review	13-Jun-13	rejection
Black Girl/ Bitch/ Dreams	Pyrokinection	16-Jun-13	rejection
Black Beauty on Fire	Red River Review	16-Jun-13	rejection
Street Mama	Los Angeles Review of Los Angeles, The	29-Jun-13	Acceptance
Go Home	litbomb	29-Jun-13	Never Responded
You Are Not Us	Word Riot	1-Jul-13	rejection
You Are Not Us	Rumpus, The	6-Jul-13	rejection
Bernie’s Warg	Strange Horizons	12-Jul-13	rejection
Of A Body	Gravel: A Literary Journal	15-Jul-13	Acceptance
Princess, The Dope Fiend and Daddy: A love story	10,000 Tons of Black Ink	15-Jul-13	rejection
A Woman Obsessed	Portland Review	22-Jul-13	Withdrawal by author
Dream of a Not Mother	Cease, Cows	23-Jul-13	rejection
Spider Queen/Unlearned	Yes, Poetry	23-Jul-13	rejection
Dream of a Not Mother	Postcard Shorts	30-Jul-13	rejection
Go Home	Bumf	27-Aug-13	rejection
4 new/old poems	Sporklet	19-Sep-13	rejection
Organic Human Dissident	Daily Science Fiction	20-Sep-13	rejection
misc new poems/feral	3:AM Magazine	5-Oct-13	rejection
Spider Queen/Unlearned	Birdfeast	20-Oct-13	rejection
Destroyer I/II/Exctinction even	Blood Lotus	20-Oct-13	rejection
Tempted	Thursdaze Flash Fiction Series	27-Oct-13	rejection
Insomnia	Blue Monday Review	15-Dec-13	rejection
The Quick Dozens	Citron Review, The	18-Dec-13	rejection
Glass Girl/Woman. Alone	Camel Saloon, The	9-Jan-14	Acceptance
Tempted	Black Market Lit	9-Jan-14	rejection
misc new poems/feral	DREGINALD	9-Jan-14	rejection
Tempted	PANK Magazine	26-Jan-14	rejection
Go Home	Vending Machine Press	6-Feb-14	rejection
Meditations of an Aging Whore	theEEEL	18-Apr-14	rejection
Cutter Love	Rivet: The Journal of Writing That Risks	22-Apr-14	rejection
Bernie’s Warg	Tor.com	7-May-14	rejection
Tempted	freeze frame fiction	11-May-14	rejection
Tempted	StepAway Magazine	28-May-14	Never Responded
Becoming Mujer Congelada	Menacing Hedge	6-Jun-14	rejection
Meditations of an Aging Whore	ExFic	6-Jun-14	Acceptance
Imbas/Black Girl/Bitch	Melancholy Hyperbole	12-Jun-14	rejection
misc new poems/feral	Leaves of Ink	15-Jun-14	Acceptance
Becoming Mujer Congelada	Rock Bottom Journal	15-Jun-14	Withdrawal by author
misc new poems/feral	Rust + Moth	20-Jun-14	rejection
Cutter Love	Urban Graffiti	11-Jul-14	Acceptance
Reach Back and Get It	Black Mirror Magazine	11-Jul-14	Acceptance
4 new/old poems	Rusty Truck, The	11-Jul-14	Withdrawal by author
We Deserve it	Nailed Magazine	26-Aug-14	Acceptance
4 new/old poems	Barn Owl Review	26-Aug-14	rejection
Driver	Wyvern Lit	29-Aug-14	rejection

When I am Too Much

Recently, I had an essay published in one of my bucketlist magazines. See it here at The Offing. I have a story to tell y’all about publishing and what happens when you are in fact too much.

That essay came about because I was contacted by an editor I am familiar with and they asked if I could do a piece about race and gender. The first version of this essay was more dry. It lacked flavor to me and I felt like I was trying to engage too many things when this story was very enclosed to me. The original version had lukewarm feedback and the editor wanted more.

I did this version and to me this is it. I’ve been experimenting with trying to place more literary styled essays in not lit mags specifically. A successful example of that is here at Wear Your Voice.

Editor #1 had reservations. Some of their feedback:

• I lead with fear of death as a Black Man
• I refer to my masculine gender expression with a personified phrase “the boy”.

However, the most tap danced around feedback came down to the fact that this work doesn’t engage with gender in the way that they wanted. They wanted Sassy Black Queen and got Terrified Black Femme. The suggested edits stripped specific mention of Blackness to turn it into a #metoo piece without the connective tissue.

A story that is not mine.

I decided not to go further with that editor because the story they wanted was a pastel version of my story with a rainbow on it and not a memory and meditation on a real fear in my life.

I shopped the piece as it appears at The Offing around for a while. Most responses were lukewarm and boiled down to, yes this but not like this.

Much of the feedback was tentative and trying very hard not to say, this is way too Black while saying, this is way too Black. One editor said that they didn’t think it was broad enough. For a memoir based issue of a magazine. I read broad as relatable to White folks and I noped out. The feedback was never about the quality of the piece. Every editor said the work was solid, it was always related to my expression of Gender, Blackness and fear.

The problem here is this. If you are not a marginalized person and you are seeking work from marginalized people, insisting on “broader relatability” backfires. You won’t get authentic work. You won’t get the best work. If you can’t engage with things that aren’t strictly uplift, either mention it up front or don’t seek the work.

This is the same problem I talked about in this entry,  When in the Wear Your Voice piece I talk about being denied humanity, this is what I am talking about. I am talking about the idea that work from marginalized people must be palatable to whiteness is to deny us our humanity. When folks insist that, my story about gender expression and sexual harassment end on a more chipper note, that is a denial of what actually happened.

To demand this shiny version of someone, the happy ending, the creator is turned into a 2d version of themselves and that is erasure and it feels shitty. You can’t ask for the realness of talking about identity, and then say, no not like that. It just don’t work.

Back to the piece at the Offing. Chanda specifically told me they loved it and it made me cry. I’d put it on Etsy for a minute because y’all know that’s how I do. If I can’t sell a piece to a magazine I’ll do that. Or put it on Medium etc. Or tuck it away for later. Here’s the thing.

My experience with gender expression isn’t theirs and yet, they still enjoyed the work. I’ve heard from readers who are White cis folks who felt something and enjoyed the work. Some folks who read the piece thinking it would just be a nice read because they are not Black Femmes and found some part of themselves in the work.

And it is, what it is.

A note for editors.

If you want to feature or highlight marginalized folks, take what they give you. Don’t try and plasticize it or tone it down or make it nice for non marginalized folks to read. Be uncomfortable. Be willing to let your readership be uncomfortable because, isn’t that what art is.

That’s it for now.

 

But Can I be Honest? Or Can a Bitch live?

Okay, so, in this post election Trumpfuckian* nightmare, being that I am a creator of things, I have been creating things.

I already published one essay about my real feelings post election. Find it here at Medium. I put a general content warning on it for everything. If you’re feeling fragile do not read.

Ahem.

If you’ve been here for more than five minutes you could fairly say, I have a salty tongue. I’m a foul mouthed heathen. I use the Seven Dirty Words quite liberally in my work.

I have long understood that because I stand by my bad words as being necessary, that precludes me being published a lot of places. I get it. I know.

I know I am a difficult sell even when I’m not saying mother fucker every few words and it’s okay. I made peace with that.

I. know.

Now, before I was totally done with the essay, I had a nibble of interest that quickly turned into a, well if you (insert edits that would strip it of it’s power and turn it into Nice Black Lady Pap+end with hope I don’t feel) and I am not with that.

Now, since I published it myself, the reception has been pretty great. Way less pushback than I expected, some folks saw fit to use my tip jar and send some donations which is incredible. I’m about that life.

That said, I find it interesting that when I’m completely naked honest, I’m talking ass out bucky ass nekkid- I self publish and things tend to go well.

I take that same energy and what I think is an integral part of my voice to the markets and I fail. Miserably.

My literary partner in let us call it impending Unfuckwithableness Milcah has pointed out to me, I’ve succeeded when I’m just 100% about who I am and not trying to pretend.

It’s true.

And we come back around to me being me and my, uh, not quite fitting a lot of the narrative places have of what they want to say.

For instance, some okay, no let me be real about it all of my poetry lately has been bloody, bleak, and not uplifting. Basically how I’m feeling. I clocked some very swift rejections for a piece I’ll put at Ink node later on. Keep your eye out here.

Being rejected doesn’t but me by itself. What bothers me are the notes that came with the rejections about how these pubs are going for Hope and Unity and Feelgoodness (my word) right now.

But why isn’t there room for me too?

I really hate the idea that we as creators must immediately go to the hope and not document our grief and rage. My grief, my rage isn’t going to end with all of us holding hands and singing Old Negro Spirituals.

It’s going to end in blood because that’s how I feel.

There’s room for more than happy uplift.

There is space for those who are despairing and only know to make art or otherwise create to help get through it.

I’ve talked to some friends and a lot of us are in this same boat. We need to scream and make bloody rage filled art and we’d like for it to be valued as much as the uplift and shiny hope.

So yanno, if you have space, consider making space for us less shiny  minded folks.

On Rejections and Thangs

Behold first a list of places I’ve been rejected from in the last few years. These culled from my Submittable (OH sidebar: if you ever need help with your Submittable account their CS is FUCKING STELLAR. Like really great.) account.

I MADE THIS.

Publisher *Interrobang Magazine*Bone Bouquet*Portland Review*Two Serious Ladies*Corium Magazine*Black Fox Literary Magazine*Menacing Hedge*kill author*Quickly*Jersey Devil Press*Looseleaf Tea*MUD LUSCIOUS PRESS*Red Bridge Press*d.ustb.in*Cease  Cows*Wyvern Lit*The James Franco Review*The Butter*Storyglossia*Necessary Fiction*Atticus Books*Knockout Literary Magazine*Girls with Insurance*Linden Avenue Literary Journal*The Molotov Cocktail*Word Riot*Camroc Press Review*SmokeLong Quarterly*Vending Machine Press*The Rusty Nail*Side B Magazine*Curbside Splendor Publishing*Used Furniture Review*fwriction : review*Word Riot*Belletrist Coterie*The Offing*Specter: A Curated Literary Website*The Offing*A-Minor*Word Riot*Bloom*The Midwest Coast Review*Leodegraunce*Eclectic Flash*fwriction : review*Stone Highway Review*Specter: A Curated Literary Website*Metazen*tNY.Press*ExFic*wtf pwm*[PANK]*fwriction : review*Camroc Press Review*Used Furniture Review*Unshod Quills*BLACKBERRY: a magazine*Gravel*Birdfeast*Necessary Fiction*Slit Your Wrists! Magazine*Wilde Magazine*10 000 Tons of Black Ink*Monkeybicycle*Counterexample Poetics*deactivated TOSKA Magazine*Little Episodes*Gertrude Press*ABJECTIVE*Battered Suitcase*The Monarch Review*Out of the Gutter Online*[PANK]*freeze frame fiction*Publishing Genius*Menacing Hedge*The Citron Review*Dark Sky Magazine*DREGINALD*Behind Closed Doors*Barn Owl Review*decomP magazinE*Necessary Fiction*Word Riot*The Rumpus

So if you get through that, you’ll see some repeats. Places that are in my mind big swing and miss type submissions.

I’ve been reflecting about the process lately since I don’t submit on such a rigorous schedule anymore.

I was reading something about rejections and I frankly refute the idea that it is always the writer.

The thing is that if you are writing from a perspective or about marginalized people in a way that is not the accepted (generally when it decenters Whiteness, heteronormativity, etc etc) there is an uphill battle, whether people who are closer to acceptable want to recognize it as part of the process or not.

After doing the submission thing and research things and reading thousands upon thousands of pages of what journals/mags publish, the struggle is real. I look over this little rejection list and this one from my race to 100, there are some I can point to as having probably been based on how I was telling stories about Black folks or Queer folks, rather than just my shitty writing.

Of course, there are times when I look back and cringe because things can always be better, tighter, more perfect, etc.

However, after going back through a lot of that work (and many of those pieces found homes eventually) and looking at the language in a lot of rejections (not just from this list but over a ten year period) I can say that I’ve seen some patterns and the patterns have fit in with my research.

Here is where I invite editors to pay some full attention, marginalized writers too:

1. If I go through say five back issues of your thing and I see no POC, no stories about anyone other than White people in whatever form, I’m 99% sure if I submit a story about POC/other marginalized people you won’t take it. I often envision the, we love your work, but no fit yadda yada. For me, over the years, this has been a thing a lot.
2. If you have words like diversity, inclusion or anything related and you haven’t done the work in your previous however many issues, see #1.
3. If I’ve been reading and following your thing and you have a few POC or other marginalized folks and tend to only publish certain types of narratives, whether fictional or not, or the only POC you interview fall into a few distinct categories, see #1.

Etc.

One of the habits that has been ingrained in me since I was a wee baby writer age 19 in 1996 carefully copying addresses out of the back of Poets&Writers, I read where I want to be. At one point after I had my own computer (I think I got my first one in like 2001?) I had dozens of pages of individual notes on publications. I transcribed them from PW, from websites, from notebooks. I had a system. I spent two months writing like a motherfucker as much as humanly possible, I spent a month editing everything and then a month submitting.

This habit has remained with me, though I have learned to use trackers (GODS damn I wish someone had told me to do that back then) and figured myself out in terms of the truth of what I do, I’ve learned to read more closely and that is how I’ve figured out my system for parsing rejections and figuring out where to submit.

There have been times where I’ve spoken with editors, I can think of a few who really went to bat for me because I did not fit their standard narratives. That is gratifying.

Experience informs how I deal with my rejections.

In this phase of my writing life, I’m not as interested in trying to blaze trails.

I’ve got a big fucking mouth and I do indeed talk a lot of shit and occasionally name names. I’ve decided that rather than hold that in, I’m letting it out. I’m sure that will cause me rejections over time. It’s fine.

I realized during AWP and some subsequent interactions with lit world folks that I just don’t have the energy or mental health reserves to be one of the brick wall busting types.

I’ve hit fuck it.

I’ve figured out that I feel okay being a terrible self-published author.

I’m fine trying to hustle fiction out of my Etsy store like a literary pusherman.

I don’t hold out hope to be raised up by the loving hands of some literary agent.

I don’t really care if I get the Big Book Deal.

I’ve discovered the depths of joy I feel when small indie bootleg ass presses tell me if I do X thing, they want first look.

I’ve discovered the joy of putting something from my heart out that is flawed but touches other hearts.

It still fucks with me that people don’t buy my shit when I sell it.

It still fucks with me when I read things and I don’t see myself or other marginalized folks represented.

It still fucks with me when the literary community is largely a burning tire fire of racism and bullshit.

After all this, the real lesson is this.

This is a grind. Rejection alone won’t be the end of you. It is up to you as an artist to decide how to deal with it.

Now if y’all will excuse me, I have anxiety to deal with and shit to do.

Puppies, Hugos and Good Lordt.

If you’re not familiar with what I’m referencing here have a look.

Looking at a lot of conversations in blogs etc about this whole shitshow y’all, if I’m going to be honest, it really makes me even more hesitant to enter the arena.

A lot of what I’ve seen said by whatever flavor of puppies is automatically booting work that I do out of hand because “message’ which I generally read to mean about anything but White straight men.

For me a lot of my fiction is escape. My non-fiction tends to draw the uh, day to day version of pupppies of one sort or another. The White men who email me to tell me how “loud” and “terrible SJW” I am because I write about my life and that often includes my Blackness. The same type who, when I was just a little online journal writing type, would first ask to see my tits or to meet up and when I said no would call me a nigger bitch.

These are the same type of dudes who will correct me about any number of dumb things usually ending with, well YOU’RE THE RACIST.

And I’ve been following this since it started.

Thing is, the fact that this is still a fucking problem that I watch a lot of authors I respect both personally and professionally either be very stressed out about this or show their racist ass.

I watch and read all the commentary and links. I read a lot of the books in question.

At this point, all this whole situation does is show me more reasons I don’t even want to fuck with the industry.

It’s not that I wouldn’t love getting paid for my genre work, reaching a wider audience and all that shit. I just don’t want it ruined. I don’t want yet another part of my literary life to be speckled with this flavor of bullshit.

Not too long ago I had a pretty good sized list of mags and whatnot that would help me in getting SFWA membership. I had stories ready to shiny up and fling out into the nerdverse. Now, nah.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve got the same amount of side eye for the horror areas as well. Especially given some professional organization fuckery that occurred right after getting a pretty warm sell on joining up and getting back into the horror genre in a larger fashion.

I keep telling myself things like the following:

Posi Brain: No, it’ll totally be fine. You’re being paranoid not everything is awful.

Non Posi Brain: Bitch whet? You saw that last note, we got right? You’re being a dipshit. Nothing is fine. Everything is awful.

Remix- repeat.

All this said, I don’t think I’m gonna be fuckin with it. I am stressed out enough. I hear enough about ALL the reasons why anything I say ever whether fictional or not are, somehow the end of White men everywhere.

My audience isn’t huge nor are they throwing big dollars but, I feel like we get each other and that feels good.

That’s how I feel about it for the couple of people who’ve asked me. Basically, I see it and I don’t like it so I ain’t fuckin with it.

Now, speaking to my audience, oh hey you.

Rewrites on The Daiyu Saga have begun and if you want to see the second draft of my first urban fantasy novel as it goes along, all it takes is like 2$ a month and BOOM access to every chapter and love letter that goes along with it. Head over here to check it out.

In other news, I will have some new lit in the etsy shop soon and you can still get this bad bitch right here, for a few dollars. Come get all your life.

 

Welcome To the Pit Mother Fucker.

Someone I know asked me recently what I would say to baby me about writing and publishing as a Black woman who has a lot of loud mouth opinions and who deploys them at will.

There is a Hed(pe) song where the dude says,

“Welcome to the Pit Mother Fucker.”

I am pretty sure that covers it. When I was a baby writer, I did not express my actual opinions on industry business. I fully believed that if The Industry found out how I felt about a lot of publishing and writing shenanigans.

I lurked industry boards and saw the racism and sexism. I gently tried to engage with White writers and other industry folks in my gentlest, sweetest Negress way about their racism.

Y’all, I tried.

I did workshop type things and kept my opinions about Magical Negroes and other terrible things to myself. I whitewashed characters, I didn’t share stories that did not cater to Whiteness.

I remember once talking to an older White lady author who told me that I was doing the right thing. That, to keep my “radical” (YES she said that, I remember it clearly) and “militant” thoughts to myself so as not to alienate the folks in power.

I thought it would lead to more publication, more visibility. Money! Recognition! Respect!

I WOULD GET TO BE IN THE FUCKIN CLUB!

But not really.

What happened was I was not writing the shit that moves me.

I felt frustrated, trapped, invisible and the worst, the very fucking worst part was that I felt like I was contributing to my own oppression with no pay off.

I was pretty miserable.

And then at some point after someone threatened to tell my dayjob that at the time I was writing custom smut for weirdo fetishists I decided to stop giving any fucks.

All of this is on my mind because last night I was doing research and working on some of my indie writer hustles and I came to a few conclusions.

1. I just do not have the energy to promote things as hard as I need to in order to make my indie writer hustles financially viable. Likely if I didn’t work full time with the commute and whatnots, I would but that’s not gonna be a thing.
2. The above being what it is, I’m cutting down on side hustles. It hurts my soul to lose the potential of that side hustle cash, but my fatigue is getting worse and there’s not a lot I can do about it at this point.
3. I’m not putting stuff out by myself anymore. It’s been a losing venture and cost more time and money than it’s been worth.

Okay, I’ll stop there because #3 is important.

I decided to pull the lid from Etsy because frankly, it takes a while per piece, to get it ready make the cover and frankly nobody buys the shit. I know it’s not the prices really, but yeah. I do feel a bit sad, but whatever fuck it. I don’t know if I’ll just post them for free or what I’m gonna do.

So if you’ve wanted a thing from the Etsy shop, now is the time. I’m pulling all the lit stuff at the end of February. Go here.  I was going to do a huge price slash per item but it made me feel shitty. SO if you add all 8 pieces, (for a grand total of 17$) then use the coupon code WORDSWORDSWORDS that’ll net you a sweet little discount and put your total at 15.75$.

I have been convinced to not close the shop all together and start putting out some of my crocheted items. Shawls and scarves. Maybe my tactile stim objects. That’ll be a while yet.

I am going to focus more of my energy on producing stuff. Writing new stuff. Maybe doing a Queen Poems chapbook this year. My grand experiment in essentially rage quitting the publishing industry and only publishing either myself, with Milcah or in super select venues hasn’t been a real win for me.

A lot of that is largely due to #1 up on that list as well as, it’s just not my skill set to do it all indie and not feel like I’m wasting precious time energy and money.

I had a come to Jesus moment with myself about what kind of support my work gets and when and whether or not it’s enough to support my indie DIY ways. Frankly, it’s not.

Last time I had this out with myself, I decided I just wasn’t good enough (this was just a couple of months ago, well a few more than that it was post SCLAB release) and I really felt like my body of work was/is something I should be ashamed of because obviously if I was better at writing, marketing, rewriting, doing things the way I am supposed to- everything would be successful.

That might be true. Some of it or all of it, I don’t know.

What I do know is that me  punishing the fuck out of myself for failing so hard, SO fucking hard did not contribute to shit.

So I’m not doing that.

Changes is coming.

Dear Shannon,

Welcome to the Pit Mother Fucker.

Love,

Shannon

 

Genre Bending Problems.

We know I’m not the most constant when it comes to genre writing. I like to use whatever the story calls for and frequently that means writing in a way that is not standard for whatever genre.

I was talking to a friend of mine who is also a writer and a rabid fan of urban fiction, SF/F and Horror and she is kind of upset about the difficulty I’ve had over the years getting published in those realms.

Generally speaking my first instinct when I don’t manage to get stories into genre publications has been okay, well it’s just not good enough, after all they published X author’s piece and that was amazing.

After that passes, I realize that most of my problem/good thing is that I do genre bend.

While that makes for my work having its own little thing, that is not a thing that a lot of publications are fuckin’ with.

So I hole up and work on stuff. I’ve mentioned before that I’m not super into workshops, but I do have some trusted beta readers and often their responses are like YES YES YES.

However, industry reactions have been tepid. I have gotten some amazing rejections that had the ever hard to come by feedback. One for my story Bernie’s Warg, (BY AND THE WAY, this is my low key way of telling you for Happy Spoopy October, I’m relisting some stuff at Etsy) was that the story was gorgeous, great mix of cultures, but stepped too far (I typed fart… how apt) out of the bounds of the genre of the magazine and there was too much horror.

A horror mag said almost the same thing, but too much of the fantasy.

All in the original long version of Bernie’s Warg got it about 20 rejections, about 5 rewrites, cut about 4K words and the industry still don’t want it.

Folks who’ve read it have enjoyed it.

Now a few years ago I’d have just tucked it away and been sad.

These days breaking into these publications and in genre fiction is not really so important to me. I know how to put stuff out by myself. I know my work is worth a few bucks.

I’m starting to figure out that I will likely not get into the magazines I love so much because I write the way I do. I have tried to change that, to study and emulate more of the traditional forms in the genres I love but it’s unnatural. It’s not really my voice.

It’s my voice speaking, someone else’s words.

I have to thank working with Milcah for me being so comfortable in this position. While my case to be published slowed before we started working together, I felt so weird about it. I felt uncomfortable with my decisions and like I was doing it wrong.

While yes, I want to sell a novel someday.

Yes, I still want to write some great American novel.

Yes, I still want to write a vampire novel.

YES, I still write short stories.

I’m just doing it at my own pace on my own terms and that’s okay.

I don’t have to do things the way other folks do them. And that’s okay too.

Now my darling homiepies.

That’s now a thing, I’m calling everyone homiepie.

I have SO much work to do.

Tomorrow look out for yeah write.

Also later this week a super important announcement.

Welcome to Rejectionland.

As promised when I hit 100 rejections I’d share with y’all.

Go here and have a look. It is in alphabetical order.

So holy shit I finally made it. I had no idea it would take so damn long.

Overall I’m mostly pleased.  Some of my acceptances have been stellar. I haven’t submitted quite as much as I had planned but on the other hand I’m really into what I have been doing. I think I have found the happy medium between super productivity and keeping a bit of a submission schedule.

Also on that page you’ll see I made swings at a few magazines more than once. We can consider these my personal LET ME LOVE YOU WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME list.

There are certain magazines I love so much I just want to be in them…yeah I know that sounds creepy.

I’m pretty happy right now. I’m trying to get into a slightly different rhythm as far as writing time does.  I’m trying to figure out given my sleep difficulties, if I can try getting up earlier and going to sit at Starbucks and work for a couple of hours before work or if I want to try going to sit in a diner and work for an hour or so at night. Or I need one of those bed rest things and a lapdesk to work at home.

I’ll probably do that last thing especially with the weather getting ready to take a turn.

What else?

I’m going to be one of the featured authors in a new thing curated by Anna March over at Literary Orphans. Due out October 16th!. I am so honored and excited to be a part of this series exploring identity. That was the important thing that made me throw up.  Even if people don’t like or get my essay I know for a dead ass fact that I wrote the fuck out of that shit. That my friends is my blood and guts on the page and I am very proud of myself.

As far as writing non fiction goes I’m not super afraid to reveal just how much of an asshole I am. What I am terrified of is being naked and vulnerable. That piece is showing my tender underbelly to the entire fucking world and it makes me feel weird.

I don’t have any other news right now. I’m trying to restock my larder and working on finishing up some stuff. A few old stories pulled out of the ether, some new stories. Here’s a tidbit from one where the MC is trying to channel Lydia Lunch for reasons. Here’s said bite:

The woman in the mirror smiles at me, I smile back. I look good tonight. Lashes are right, lips deep bloody red, my new weave is a work of pink and black magic. I stand up and examine myself in one of the full length mirrors.

“God damn girl, take a week off and come back looking like that. Lemme see.”

And why yes it is about/narrated by a stripper why do you ask?

And that’s all. Later taters.

Furthermore.

Continuing from yesterday.

One of the problems I have and why I tend to worry about so many things when I am submitting is that I am self aware to a fault. It can come off as me not being confident in my work, but, it’s not that necessarily.

I have worked very hard over the years to understand and better how I work, the things I write and how I submit. I do a lot of market research thus often I walk away feeling like I have to be the trailblazing Black Writer. That is uncomfortable for me.

I work very hard to be a conscientious submitter. I read, I buy when I can and I often am following a magazine for months before submitting. So a lot of the time I do feel uh, guilty I guess when editors say that they love to read my work, but can’t use it for their magazines.

I told my best friend last night that my paranoid roach brain assumes I am gaining a bad reputation for being one of those shotgun style submit everywhere regardless types.

I don’t want to be that and it freaks me out.

And then because I am a very anxious person, I get anxious and upset. Rinse repeat.

There is also again that self awareness issue.

Let’s be plain okay?

I know that in a lot of the mainstream market I am not really marketable. That isn’t a value judgement it just is. And it’s okay for real it is. Sometimes I just need to talk about it.

Beyond that I do think that so much emphasis on certain ways of being a writer is deeply classist and problematic.  And I know that other people experience that discomfort and I am okay talking about it.

When I talk about these things I mainly just wan to get it out. These are things I wish I had read about when I was a young writer trying to navigate these feelings and issues. I felt really alone and like a weirdo because I thought about these things and didn’t have the ability to express it.

So now what?

I am so close to 100 rejections y’all. It’s going down. I predict if I get my shit together by next month the list will be here for you to look at.

I’ve also for my own sanity started keeping a list of zines I love but who probably won’t publish me and where I most likely won’t be submitting again.

I also started a new thing, I write a lot of short things on my phone or in my paper notebook and haven’t done much with them. Until now. Head over to my new spot Extra Wordy where I will put tiny things.

Now if y’all will excuse me I have serious work to do. I have decided July is swing for the fences month. I’ve struck out twice thus far and am swinging for another.

Later taters.

OH wait next week book reviews and some stuff. So yay.

Feeling out of place.

At least yearly this thing happens where everything I write is out of place.

Being that I’m really bad at writing to specs when I’m interested in something, I just write things. I write a bunch of stuff, fix it up and start submitting it.

Lately I’m hitting a nowhere I like to read is printing things like I write type of thing going on. Also apparently my ideas about SF/F/H (Sci fi/fantasy/horror) are pretty skewed.

Also a lot of guidelines I read talk a lot about telling them about your degrees and workshops and conferences. What about those of us who don’t have those?

Now don’t get me wrong being rejected isn’t necessarily the problem. Rejection I am ready for.

I guess I’m having one of those edged out because of reasons feelings.

If I submit a place where they mention specifically that one should talk about degrees, conferences, workshops etc one is involved in what am I supposed to say? Hi I took a few IT college classes, can’t afford to go to conferences and have done two workshops but don’t like them?

So I don’t submit to those markets.

Also maybe I’m overreaching.  Trying to get published beyond my capabilities. That of course is an option.

It is entirely possible I’m going beyond my talents. I dunno.

So it’s that time to sit back, reassess what I’m doing and try to figure out where I am going wrong.

Maybe I will save up some money and take some of those classes and learn how to write a short story.  Try to learn to write so I can workshop things efficiently. Figure out when to take time off for all this?

So righty right.

Other writing business.

I’m 9 rejections away from posting my list of 100.

I have 4 pieces out right now. I’m thinking I’m going to let go of two as they are outliers and for one of them my query has gone unanswered. Also honestly editors even a fuck you stop talking to me is way better than nothing. For real.  So one of those is getting withdrawn today. I always feel so awkward sending those without having gotten an answer to a query weeks before.

I may or may not try to finish what I -think- is a fantasy novella. Given my bad aim lately I may be entirely wrong about what it is. (Said with a bit of bitter amusement) I don’t now.

I also really need to do some studying about self promotion. If at some point I have to go all indie with my shit, I should know what I’m doing right?

And let me say that a lot of my rejections lately have been really lovely. Editors who have said they really like my work but not for their publications. Is it just me or do those make for a bit more author butthurt than a form rejection?  Maybe it’s just me but I’ve always felt that way.

Well whatever else happens I will go back to the drawing board, write and whatnot.

That’s all for now. Probably tomorrow I’ll post my attempt at a sf story and talk about where it went off the rails.